An Ever Changing Perspective

For those that didn’t know, I’ve been staying home with my son Keegan. Brandi’s maternity leave ended about six weeks ago, and since then it has just been us boys. It took a little getting used to, not so much for Keegan as for me, and that first week saw me begging Brandi to let me fly the coop as soon as she got home. But all and all it has been a truly enjoyable experience.

There really isn’t anything better than being able to stay home with your child. As summer approaches and the likelihood of picking up some fire-related employment increases, I actually find myself more and more reluctant about trundling him off to day care and rejoining the workforce. Miss that first word, first wobbly step? Nothing seems worth that.

Of course, if you had caught me earlier today, when my adorable little boy was screaming himself red in the face, I probably would have told a different story. There are those moments, when nothing that I do seems to placate him, where I really start to question my fitness for this duty. Maybe I just don’t have what it takes to nurture a four-month old. If his screaming was any indication, Keegan certainly didn’t think so.

For awhile things were all peaches and cream. Keegan and I had a great little system worked out. After mom fed him and left for work, he would play contentedly in his gym while I would drink coffee and write. When it was time for a diaper change, he let me know. Then back into the gym until the next bout with the Grumpies, which was the signal that he was ready for a nap. By the time the nap was over, Mom was home for lunch, and then the cycle started over, minus the coffee.

Enter the bottle. Instead of a trip to Mom’s All-You-Can-Eat Buffet, lunch is now ala carte. This not only produces discontent at lunchtime, but it also shortens the afternoon play and nap sessions. About an hour prior to mealtime, Keegan starts to think he is pretty darn hungry. That last thirty minutes before Brandi gets home can sometimes be a real bear.

Then young Keegan decided that he would begin sleeping through the night. Oh joy, we thought. Unbeknownst to him, that also meant one less feeding, something I don’t think he fully considered. Surely they’ll make it up to me, is what he probably assumed. No such luck buddy. Doc says you’re way too fat as it is. Ratchet up the discontent a little more.

In truth, I think the correlation between his displeasure and these changes to his routine are coincidental. Though he is obviously going through a period of adjustment, what I really believe is that Keegan has reached a new stage in development and the milieu I’ve been providing simply no longer offers the level of stimulation he requires. Couple that with my failure to interact with him adequately and we have one unhappy little man.

One thing about raising children: if you do it wrong, they’ll let you know.