The Adventures of Little Steve, Vol. 3

Winter has arrived in the Bitterroot. As if this wasn't obvious enough from the solidly frozen water in the dogs' dish or the icy glaze on every window pane, my good friend Jake Pintok called from the comfort of his desk in the Bitterroot National Forest Supervisor's Office to inform me that it was eleven below zero down in Sula last night. Personally, though the moon rising over the mountains was an amazing sight and bluebird skies are always appreciated, I could go for a little less cold and a little more snow. Brandi is of the opinion there is white stuff enough to test our new dog sled up at Lost Trail this weekend, but looking out from my writing nook at the rock hard skiff currently struggling to simply cover the grass in the yard, I am inclined to believe that the runners will probably be riding on pine litter instead.

The real disappointment in finding winter has arrived in Montana, for both Jacob and I, is the knowledge that neither of us put any meat in the freezer. Jake doesn't have much excuse, as he had smaller elk in his sights on several occasions and passed them up for a shot at a big bull, but then again he has the luxury of still having plenty of meat in his freezer from the bull he took two years ago, since he has yet to crack the nut of getting Lisa and the boys to eat venison. Brandi and I, on the other hand, live off the stuff, and though not completely decimated, the stock of steak and ground chuck stored in our freezer from the young bull I took last season is fast dwindling.

Hunting big game is hard, and it certainly isn't for everyone. It takes leg work and the ability to coldly and calculatedly take the life of one of God's beautiful creations. Even when it works out, it isn't necessarily as cost effective as buying half a beef from one of the kids in the local 4-H chapter. It is however, for most of us who engage in the practice, a connection to our farthest past, a link to the natural world and our place in it, and an endeavor that takes an infinitely greater responsibility for itself than ordering a quarter pounder at the McDonald's drive-thru.

So I'm sorry Little Steve. Your dad failed you in his oldest duty, that of putting meat on the family table. Will I save those final few packages of elk in hopes of ensuring that you grow up eating the stuff? Yes. But I have to say I'm more than a little disappointed with the way this season's hunt went, especially what with having wasted several opportunities. I'll tell you more about that later, when you'll better understand.

Stories of hunting success aside, things have been going rather well for Little Steve. At the very least Doc Laraway says he is progressing at a normal rate. He seems to get the hiccups quite often, and he occasionally sees fit to batter his mama's insides looking for a way out of the cozy cocoon she provides for him. Sitting here feeling my toes go numb, this rushing desire to get out and face life only serves to demonstrate to me the naivety of youth. If he knew how cold it was here in the house, I don't think he would be in such a big hurry to escape her warm confines.

The Greenest Lie on Earth

Though it may not have appealed to everyone, 350.org’s International Day of Climate Action garnered plenty of attention, making headlines on front pages of newspapers worldwide and resulting in over 19,000 images on Flickr. That’s quite an impression for such an innocuous number.

For those who don’t know, 350.org is an association of activists who believe 350 parts per million is the highest possible concentration of CO2 that can be present in the atmosphere without adversely affecting life as we know it here on Planet Earth. On Sunday, October 24th, the group held over 5200 events in 181 countries around the globe. Their goal was to heighten awareness about carbon dioxide emission and its possible contribution to greenhouse effect through visual demonstrations involving the number 350.

It seems that ever since the Age of Reason, everything has had to have a number. Though quite useful in terms of ratio, these specific magnitudes are insignificant, because assigning numbers never really changes anything. It wouldn’t matter if I said the speed of light was 299,792,458 meters per second or 7 billion; the qualifying consideration in the matter is that it’s a physical constant in relation to the rest of the universe, and no amount of quantifying is going to alter that fact. If people want to put the upper limit on CO2 at 350 parts per million; I say fine. It doesn’t make a difference whether it’s 350 or 750. The underlying assumption is that there is a physical limitation, a point beyond which any more carbon is simply too much.

Along with the iPhone, carbon is huge right now. Carbon cycle, carbon sequestration, carbon footprint, carbon sink, carbon offset; the terms conjure up concepts at once logical and quixotic. It’s like name dropping; just mentioning carbon instantly elevates a dialogue to a higher level, into a realm both influential and sublime.

I really don’t know how I feel about carbon, but I am quite certain about where I stand on carbon footprints, the evaluation of which is currently all the rage. That the practice is just a mechanism for the continuation of bad behavior is readily apparent from discussions regarding carbon credits and the proliferation of carbon exchanges. It’s a springboard for discrimination and elitism, a way of preserving an untenable lifestyle while maintaining an air of superiority at being “greener than thou”.

John Muir is quoted as having said, “Tug on anything at all and you'll find it connected to everything else in the universe.” A personal favorite of mine, this musing was in the forefront of my mind as I read an abstract of an article by David Owen on Treehugger.com that claimed New Yorkers Are the Most Eco-Friendly People in the US - Without Even Trying.

Though interesting as an introspection, this assertion contains as much rubbish as a New York city garbage barge. In examining their respective carbon footprints, it is plausible that careful manipulation of the calculation’s scope and structure could result in a smaller quantity being assigned to an individual New Yorker household than to an average two car garage commuting ranch dweller in rural or suburban America, but arrival at this product is completely dependent upon process. Measuring the personal energy bill of an individual living in a New York high rise with central heating or the number of gallons of gasoline consumed by a subway riding Manhattanite without considering the carbon footprint of this attendant infrastructure, to say nothing of global environmental ties, is mere subterfuge. It is pure artifice, aimed at substantiating a standard of living while turning a blind eye upon its true price.

Deforestation in Third World and emerging countries is driven by the market pressures of wealthier nations. Clean air and water in America comes at the cost of dirty air and water in China. Beef served in Manhattan steakhouses is grazed in Montana before being shipped cross country to market. The carbon footprint of an average New Yorker is not contained within the city margins. It is imprinted upon the entire globe.

All figures aside, simple facts remain. There is no cleaner way to exist than through a simple agrarian subsistence lifestyle. This is the mode of living advocated in the philosophies of naturalists such as Muir and Thoreau; a human existence based on the stewardship of locality, not the sprawling disassociation of the contemporary American landscape. If each were left to rely strictly on their own means, the State of Vermont would continue to sustain itself, albeit in a much different way, long after Manhattan lay in ruins.

New York is a flower; a beautiful, fragrant flourish created and maintained by the larger organism that supports it. Although extremely efficient, our cities depend completely upon other regions of our country, and the world, for their sustenance. They are as inseparable from the whole as fruit from the vine.

Until the developed world moves away from an economy based on comparative advantage and cheap energy and embraces a system comprised primarily of provincial production architecture founded in basic natural processes performed at a local scale, there will be no hope for a balance between humanity and its global environ. Unfortunately, there is no easier answer, no science and technology that will save us, and no amount of statistical analysis will suffice to change our physical state. We must take ownership of our ecologic inclusion, make claim to the earth that sustains us, and root ourselves in its soil. We cannot push our impact to the periphery and deny the existence of what we cannot see. To survive, we must sacrifice. There must be dirt beneath our fingernails and muck about our feet, and we must accept it as our own. Like any catharsis, there will be growing pains. But I, for one, believe the call to arms that is the environmental movement is really only an expression of our deeper longing for a simpler existence and that we, as a whole, prefer life as a butterfly.

Swap O Rama Rama

My super amazing friend Alyssa Stewart is up to her elbows in a big ole batch of let's remake Planet Earth as she and some of her companeros at the University of Montana bring new life to old clothing through a giant sustainability symposium and community swap meet. Join the effort in Missoula on Nov 8th or look for a Swap-O-Rama-Rama in your own backyard.

For more info, visit Swap-O-Rama-Rama Missoula

The Adventures of Little Steve, Vol. 2

The name Little Steve just kind of fell out of my mouth. Brandi and I were on the phone, and my mind was grasping for a word I could ascribe to this weighty new addition, some sort of endearing title that would humanize the sudden impact this tiny object had made upon our lives. I hadn't given what we would call it more than a passing thought; all I knew was that I didn’t want to call it “it”. So I called it Little Steve.

If you have ever seen the film The Tao of Steve then you know where I’m coming from. More than being the basis for my belief, the movie only serves to reaffirm what I have always known to be true. Steve’s are cool. When I was a child, and no one was yet familiar with the name Cobey, I longed to be a Steve.

From the beginning, we simply assumed Little Steve was a boy. Brandi was certain of it. I shared a similar opinion myself; several nights before her pregnancy was confirmed, I had dreamt of a male infant. It wasn’t until after we had already spent a couple months calling him Lil’ Steve that we even considered the very real possibility that Little Steve might well be a Little Stephanie.

For generations, Williamson progeny have tended towards the male, at least on our branch. My father has two brothers; I have five. My uncle has two sons. It wasn’t until my brother’s daughter Arianna arrived that a female member was actually born into the family. Since then, however, Williamsons had produced nothing but girls. Seemed the tide had finally turned, ad infinitum.

All of the old wives' tales lent credence to the possability that we would continue this new trend. Little Steve’s fetal heart rate was high, supposedly typical of females. The Chinese gender prediction calendar pointed unequivocally toward our having a Little Stephanie. We solicited the opinion of a handful of other quizzes and legends, all of which suggested a feminine outcome. Our attention turned from the list of boy names to the list of girl ones.

The McCoy’s came to visit the weekend before our Week 22 pre-natal exam, and we encouraged John and Cindy to attend. Her mom was thrilled at the prospect, but Brandi’s dad politely declined the invite with an assurance that he already knew which name would follow the descriptor “Little”. As we headed out the door en route to the doctor’s office, John told us to bring him the envelope.

As soon as he placed the ultrasound transducer on Brandi’s midsection, Doc Laraway was inquiring whether or not we desired to know the sex. He walked us around the image, pointing out legs and buttocks, drawing out the suspense, but the conclusive evidence was apparent even to a lay person. That was boy stuff there. The Chinese, old wives, and Brandi’s dad had been mistaken. Against the odds, Little Steve truly is a Steve.

A Glass Half Full

I often find myself talking as if the glass were half empty. It gets rather annoying. Despite my rampant cynicism, however, there exists much in the world about which I am truly optimistic. Patagonia is one of those things.

I clearly recall that first encounter with one of their catalogs. The year was 1996, and I had just returned from a three month circumnavigation of the United States, a dirtbag exploration of the continent that included an excursion to Puerto Penasco, Mexico, and several frigid nights spent backpacking a section of the Appalachian Trail in Georgia. Signs of spring may have begun to appear in the south, but winter still maintained a firm grip on Missoula, Montana. After retrieving my wayward pack, which had gone errant somewhere along the bus route between Cincinnati and Chicago, I slogged through the snow up Rattlesnake Canyon to the house where my brother Jeb lived.

Thumbing through a copy of the company’s spring offering in his bedroom, I was struck by two things. The first was an extraordinary photograph of a climber performing a pinch grip front lever beneath a trailhead sign. The second was Patagonia’s announcement that their entire line of cotton clothing would be going organic.

Patagonia inspires me. Whether through the extremely motivational images contained within their catalogs or by their honest admissions about the unavoidable environmental cost of doing business, Patagonia provides me with exactly what I feel is so lacking in this world: something to believe in. To me, Patagonia isn’t just a clothing company. It’s a role model.

Patagonia is a throwback. Their aim is to make stuff that works, not stuff that sells. I bought my first Patagonia garment, an expedition weight Capilene pullover, in 1997. Twelve years later, it’s still goes in my pack on every outing.

The company’s commitment to conservation is unparalleled, yet they are the first to admit that they’re still a business and that everything comes at a price. In a post on the company’s blog The Cleanest Line, a member of their fabric development team is frank about the environmental expense of producing wetsuits. “Don’t settle for marketing “greenwash!”” the article cautions. A link from the Patagonia website leads visitors to the Footprint Chronicles, a mini-site where consumers can trace the journey of specific products and learn firsthand the environmental and social impacts of each purchase. Few companies seek to endow their customers with this level of accountability or exhibit such transparency.

Back in 1996, when Patagonia made the switch, they were one of the first firms to field an entire line of cotton clothing manufactured from organic fabric. They were at the vanguard of a movement, the goal of which was to reshape an industry. Other companies such as Sector 9 and Mission Playground have since followed suit, offering products today that allow consumers further opportunity to foster change through their choice in apparel.

Still clothing is only part of the equation. Patagonia’s whole approach is different. A careers page on their website claims Patagonia is always looking for motivated people to join the company ranks, especially if they share the firm’s love for outdoors, commitment to quality, and desire to make a difference. A paragraph at the bottom of the page reaffirms Patagonia’s ethic. “We work very hard to minimize our impacts on the environment, and we strongly believe that one person's actions can make a difference in the health of our environment,” it states. “In keeping with these values, we'd appreciate some sensitivity to environmental concerns in the preparation of your résumé materials. Please be environmentally responsible in the presentation of your information.”

It is a holistic approach that, to me, is captivating. It gives me pause, forcing me to reevaluate my own approach, my own route, my own line. Patagonia, I feel, is the corporate model of the future; industry that understands it has an obligation to seek ecologic integration as well as profit. It may still be business, but it’s business unusual.

Taking out the Trash

It was our first Saturday in Hamilton together since my return from Alaska, and we had intended on walking down to the Farmer’s Market with hopes of finding some fresh eggs to replace the ones now sizzling in the frying pan. While I set about burning breakfast, Brandi busied herself pulling played out pea plants from her garden and throwing them in the compost bin. She was only half done when I called her to come eat, so after Little Steve had his fill of pancakes we headed back outside to complete the task.

Our yard was in desperate need of some attention. It hadn’t seen much in the way of maintenance over the summer and had grown dry and dusty from constant dog frolics and indiscriminate watering schedules. Large quantities of husky down lay accumulated in every crack and crevice. As I could see it might be awhile before we’d be ready to leave, I grabbed a rake and began combing the ground.

I was still scratching at the hard pack and dead grass when Brandi finished her garden project, and her expression told me that a leisurely stroll through the Farmer’s Market had just been eclipsed by the more pressing needs of our own little plot. What better time to put in some work, we concluded, than Labor Day weekend?

Brandi had collected a large mound of pine needles and other debris when the snows had retreated last spring. It was slated for removal by our landlords, but months later remained heaped in a corner. After borrowing a wheelbarrow from one of Brandi’s co-workers, I scraped the ponderosa’s latest castings into several more piles, and we filled the pickup to capacity with woody detritus. Then we were off to the dump.

Admittedly, I had already given serious consideration to the roguish impulse that urged me to simply chuck the entire mess over a steep bank along one of the surrounding forest roads. It was all organic; with time, it would decompose. Bob had informed us that there would be a charge to dispose of it at the dump when he loaned us the wheelbarrow. I hated the idea of throwing away perfectly good money, but at least this way the worthless mess in our yard would one day be someone else’s pay dirt. Or so I thought.

We haven’t lived in the valley for long, barely a year, so it might just be a case of ignorance on my part. There may well be someplace here that processes organic material I have yet to discover. Still, I think the situation in the Bitterroot indicative of the general attitude toward refuse that prevails in this country. Our yard waste, I soon came to learn, would never realize its full potential as fertilizer. It wasn’t destined to become humus; it was nothing more than plain old rubbish.

I wasn’t aware at the time, but there is no landfill in Ravalli County. All waste generated in the Bitterroot Valley is taken to the transfer station in Victor for transport somewhere else. No effort is made to separate or categorically process the waste. My heart sunk as we were directed into a large steel building and told to empty the truckload of tree litter onto a concrete floor strewn with garbage.

A truck was parked on either side of us. One was filled with old broken furniture, the other household waste. The owners were busy dumping their loads upon the stained pad alongside ours. A small excavator stood ready to shovel the entire mess into a large compactor that oozed Styrofoam, broken glass, and kitchen litter. It smelled as if the entire building was rotting. We finished cleaning out the bed of the pickup, paid our fee, and drove away with the same thought bouncing around inside each of our heads.

“Would have been better off just dumping it in the woods.”

Although I sometimes postulate that a certain amount of organic detritus is in fact a necessary addition to a landfill if there is to be any hope for decomposition, I don’t see this tactic as being an effective waste stream management strategy. Gone are the days of perfunctorily plowing our waste out of sight, out of mind. Ravalli County in no way lacks open space; that it has no landfill only serves to underscore the gravity of the situation. Waste production has reached such a magnitude that nothing less than a comprehensive, systematic approach can possibly manage it.

Our breakfast nook is filled with recyclables. Paper, cardboard, glass, metal, plastic, are all arranged in neatly ordered stacks. There is little opportunity for the proper disposal of recyclables in Hamilton, so we haul them with us whenever we visit Washington. We have begun washing plastic baggies for reuse, and Brandi almost has me trained not to forget the fabric grocery bags when we leave for the store. Now that we have a compost bin, trips to the dumpster in the alley have decreased significantly. Even so, we need to do more.

Truth is our expectations, as a culture, are in need of a complete overhaul. Our entire attitude must evolve. We can no longer afford to pitch refuse haphazardly into landfills. We must resist our craving for disposability and lower our tolerance for garbage in America. Most importantly, we must come to grips with the fact that, since there truly are differences between pine needles and trash, there must be different ways with which to handle them.

The Adventures of Little Steve, Vol. 1

If you have ever floated swift water then you know that sometimes the only thing you can do is point your boat downstream and paddle hard with the current. Humanity may be graced with free will, but this frequently serves only to set us upon a course that no later action can alter. Still, let it be said that while such tides may well serve to steer us unto unknown waters, these voyages, however daunting, are oft considered the most rewarding of our lives.

I was still in Alaska when a chemistry test confirmed Brandi’s suspicion that she was pregnant. It wasn’t exactly a surprise. Her senses had been alerting her to the fact for awhile, haunting her thoughts both asleep and awake, and she had grown more and more convinced of its certainty with each passing day. Several less than subtle dreams indicated that my own subconscious mind had already sided with Brandi, and although I continued to maintain a skeptical facade, I was actually just as positive as she. But I didn’t tell her so.

We hadn’t really planned things to happen this way, and when Brandi called me with the news I’m not stretching the truth in saying that she wasn’t exactly ecstatic. Frantic would be a better description. She didn’t say hello, but rather greeted me with sobs.

Perhaps I grossly overestimate my own importance, but I think things would have gone better had I been there by her side. I know it would have made it easier on me. Having to face the situation alone was a terribly unpleasant experience, even from my perspective. When I imagine Brandi, sitting on the cold tile of the bathroom floor with only a plastic stick for company, I am awash with guilt. She is my hero, for that reason and a million others beside.

Until I was in the doctor’s office, staring with awe at an ultrasound image of what I’d begun affectionately referring to as Little Steve, I had maintained an air of plausible deniability about the matter. In keeping with my general approach to life, I preferred to consider Steve’s existence a myth, a legend akin to Bigfoot, until I had something more to go on than the opinion of a popsicle stick. But the tiny being swimming about Brandi’s insides was undeniable, and the silly look developing on my face while I watched Little Steve’s antics was even more so.

Now that we are back under the same weather pattern, with the full support of our family and friends, things are better. I’m still a bit concerned, about such things as the dirty diapers I accepted responsibility for by insisting we use cloth or emotionally scarring our daughter by calling her Little Steve, but I’m no longer worried about Brandi. She is like a tree in the storm. Though she may sway, she is quite unlikely to break.

Three R's and a Microbus

Hanging out with my brother Dagan is always entertaining. He is a boisterous character, and not above expressing his opinion, loudly. I hadn’t seen him since last July, but it just so happened that, while Brandi and I were driving to the Tri-Cities for her sister Alece’s wedding, he was making a pilgrimage north with his daughter Arianna and their buddy Stephen. Seizing the opportunity, I contacted Dag and made arrangements to rendezvous with him when he passed through Kennewick, WA.

My brother is passionate about machines, but he is truly devoted to that simplest of automobiles, the air-cooled Volkswagen. As a show of faith, he was making the 1000 mile trek from Petaluma, California, to Montana in his ’59 Type 2 camper conversion. Dagan had rescued the Transporter from a barn in Oregon years before and had restored it to a usable condition. It ran reliably, but as anyone familiar with classic Volkswagens will be quick to tell you, there is a reason why every VW owner can perform an engine swap on the side of the road.

When I hadn’t heard from him by the appointed time, I gave Dagan a call. Apparently attempting to cross the Central Oregon desert during the hottest part of the day was taking its toll on the camper. For the moment they were huddled in the shade of an overpass, my brother said, waiting for the Volkswagen’s motor to cool down.

If a VW is one thing, it is idiosyncratic. Facing one hundred degree heat, Dagan’s camper was floundering. Ambient air temperature in the Columbia River Basin was so high that the engine could no longer cool itself. Detonation was the result; the risk, a blown motor. Dagan, air-cooled aficionado that he is, knew better than to push the limits of his machine, even if he had brought along another entire engine, just in case.

After a short rest, the VW finally made Kennewick, and I met them in the parking lot of a McDonald’s restaurant just off Highway 395. Dagan prattled on proudly about the Volkswagen for awhile before segueing into one of his familiar rants.

“What I can’t stand are the people who want to crush all the old cars and ship them to Japan to build hybrids.”

Though he might not appear so, my brother Dagan truly is an environmentalist. He may not buy into the latest trends in green consumer culture, but at least he understands there is a hierarchy to the three big R’s of environmental responsibility.

First, reduce consumption wherever possible. Second, reuse everything. Lastly, recycle whatever remains.

An obvious necessity, recycling will never be the answer. Certainly, recycling is a great method for keeping waste out of the landfill, but recycling a perfectly useful old car in order to manufacture a new one? As Dagan notes, this doesn't necessarily a green footprint make.

Considering each vehicle’s carbon footprint in its entirety, it is highly unlikely that crushing a Volkswagen to build a new Toyota Prius would have any less environmental impact than simply continuing to operate the VW itself. What it does do, however, is allow American consumer culture to persist unchecked, with a clean, green, conscious. Move over, V-Dub bus; a new flagship for the alternative lifestyle has arrived. Rather than buying into the hype, Dagan goes green by reusing existing parts to keep his old camper on the road.

As widespread and pervasive as humanity’s impact has become, there is no choice but to recycle, with even greater scope and diligence than ever before. Still, buying newly manufactured goods, even those made from recycled material, has to be relegated to the final option, after alternatives of reduction and reuse have already been explored and exhausted. Clearly, everything that can be must be recycled, and consumers should be rewarded for doing so. But a conservation effort focused on manufacture and consumption, even if it does revolve around recycled materials and green technology, is missing the point.

Reduce. Reuse. Then recycle.

Volkswagen owners are a tribal bunch. After spying Dagan’s camper in the parking lot, several members of the local VW club joined us with their own aging Type 2s. Their discussion was animated, as any conversation among enthusiasts tends to be, centered wholly on Volkswagens and their relationship with this emblematic automobile.

Following the impromptu gathering, I bid farewell to my brother and niece and drove back to Brandi’s parents’ place. The bridal party had assumed control of the house, so I occupied myself by helping her father John set a fence post and finalize some last minute wedding preparations.

The next day Alece and Brandon were married in a beautiful ceremony ministered by Brandi in a neighbor’s yard. A reception dinner followed at the McCoy’s home next door, complete with a diverse assortment of liquid refreshment and the associated mound of discarded cans and bottles.

The McCoy’s are ardent recyclers, and they had made every effort to maximize recycling at the reception. Separate receptacles had been placed beside each trash bin in hopes of capturing as many recyclables as possible. Good use was made of them at first, but as the revelry continued on into the night, more trash and fewer recyclables found its way into the recycling containers.

When I wandered out onto the patio the next morning, I found Brandi up to her elbows in a large black plastic bag. She was happily digging plastic bottles and aluminum cans out of the trash. Shooting her a dubious look, I set to work myself, collecting frosting smeared beer bottles from the garbage and tossing them into a pile.

Knowing we can’t do everything, we must do what we can.

Taking the Long Way Home

There is a lot to be said about the journey, but sometimes it is only a prelude to the rest of the story. The beauty of an expedition is that, unlike the journey through life, we know where it begins, which direction it will take us, and, most importantly, where it ends. That sense of certainty allows us the luxury of having time to smell the roses. Conversely, our lack of that knowledge is what makes it so difficult to do so in life.

The road from Fort Nelson, British Columbia, to Edmonton, Alberta, passes through the heart of Canadian oil country. It is a pleasant enough path, if you don’t mind the constant reminders. As I was being conveyed across two thousand miles by an internal combustion engine, I wasn’t about to point any accusatory fingers at the oil pump jacks, natural gas wells, pipelines, or refineries. And though not particularly attractive, it was actually a pretty awesome sight.

I took a break in Fort Nelson and had a real sit down meal at the Fort Nelson Hotel. The café offered free internet access, so I surfed around a bit, wrote Brandi, and updated my status on Facebook. After lunch I strolled down to the office of the local telecom provider. When I asked if he had any insight as to why my phone didn’t work, a young man there informed me that I would have to wait until I got a bit closer to the States. Although frustrating at the time, this was a good thing I later learned upon receiving my bill.

There were “Caution: Bear in Area” signs posted throughout the campground at Charlie Lake where we stopped for the night. I weaved the dogs’ leashes into a makeshift gangline and walked the nature trail down to the lake. I soon discovered three dog power is quite a bit more than one human power. When we twice encountered other dogs along the path, it was all I could do to hold the huskies back. Being isolated in the truck canopy had taken its toll on them, and they were anxious for interaction. Tensaw showed particularly poor form, tangling himself in the leads while performing howling backflips.

Having backpacked solo for years, I don’t own a tent, preferring the weight savings of a space blanket bivy. Made nervous by the bear signs, I had arranged my sleeping gear directly behind the truck and left the canopy door open while I slept, thinking that the dogs would warn me of any animal’s approach. I realized my error when I awoke in a terror, mindlessly leaping to my feet after feeling a paw upon my back. The dogs were tearing through the underbrush. It took a few seconds before I understood they weren’t after a bear, and that what I had felt was one of them landing on me as they launched themselves after some rodent. I collected my wits along with the dogs and shuttered them inside the truck before drifting off to sleep once more.

The following morning I drove the short distance into Fort St. John. Finally having found its voice, my cell phone made quite racket as it was inundated by a deluge of pending messages. I phoned Brandi and reveled in the fact that I could once again contact her at my leisure.

My next stop was the end of the line, sort of. Officially, the Alaska Highway has its beginnings in Dawson Creek, BC. I stopped there for some time, taking pictures of the dogs at the welcome sign like a true tourist. I talked to Brandi through her lunch break and felt my feelings about the journey pass through a metamorphosis. I wasn’t driving the Alaska Highway anymore. I was driving home.

Long periods behind the wheel were beginning to wear me down, so the dogs and I took every opportunity to stretch our legs. They were beginning to lose interest in obeying my commands; at a park outside of Grande Prairie, they assaulted a group of picnicking locals. A stop at Williamson Provincial Park was assured, but Blue lost her privilege to walk off leash almost immediately. As the day wore on, I looked more and more fondly upon the prospect of halting travel for the day.

The map showed numerous campgrounds on the road between Valleyview and Whitecourt, but somehow I missed them all. Panicking slightly, I turned south on a minor route and drove to a campground on the McLeod River. A sign at the entrance informed me that it was full. Distraught, I again checked my map. The nearest campground was another thirty kilometers away.

A call from Brandi helped check my disappointment and I wandered down a rural route towards Pembina River Provincial Park. It was nearly full as well, and I was extremely fortunate to find a campsite. The dogs had finally lost it and threw themselves against their tieouts as I tried to feed them. Exhausted, I threw myself on the ground and slept hard.

It was early when I pulled into Edmonton the next morning. I knew the West Edmonton Mall would be closed at this hour but I wanted to witness it anyway. From the outside, it was less impressive than I imagined. I bought a cup of coffee at Starbucks to help ease myself back into civilization before braving the four lane south.

Mapquest told me the quickest path to Hamilton was down I-15 through Helena. By the time I made Calgary, I was beginning to have my doubts about the route. The wind was howling off the east slope of the Rockies, and I swear my hand was bruised from gripping the steering wheel against the gale. When I stopped for fuel in Nanton, I’d had enough. I turned the truck west into the mountains.

I had been eyeing Fernie since the beginning of the trip. For some reason, I knew I was going there all along. My plan was to call my buddy JP when I arrived; if I reached him, I would push on to Eureka. If not, I would get a room in Fernie and clean up some before setting out on the final leg.

One nice thing about being an American traveling in Canada is that all the distances along the roadside are displayed in kilometers, and our minds think in miles. The klicks ticked by much quicker than miles did. I was in Fernie before I knew it, with the added benefit that the drive over Crowsnest Pass was much prettier than the plains had been.

Johnny Paul didn’t answer at first, but he soon called me back. After the vast distance I’d already traveled, the hop, skip, and jump to the port at Roosville was over in a flash. The jackbooted customs agent tried his best to be antagonistic, but his heart wasn’t in it. He fondled my passport for a while before glumly waving me through.

Although not quite home, I was back in Montana, and on the Kootenai no less. The night spent with Des and JP made for a good transition, and we spent it in our typical fashion, ranting about the Forest Service while my huskies jousted with his retrievers. When I left there in the morning I got a bit off track and wound up following a logging road the back way to Trego. This unplanned side trip timed my arrival in Whitefish perfectly.

Brandi was at Flathead Lake, camped on Wild Horse Island doing field research. We made plans to meet at Big Arm State Park where her boat would land. I stopped at Elmo and let the dogs have a good long run, preparing myself for the reunion with her.

Her boat was late, which was good, because it gave the butterflies in my stomach a chance to calm down some. Brandi always gives me butterflies. These ones were in a particular frenzy after two thousand miles, but when she leapt from the boat and tore up the dock to greet me, they completely disappeared.

Forests to Farmland

I have burned 474.5 gallons of gas since having first purchased my pickup. I am not sure how many of those were consumed over the course of the 2250 miles that I drove traveling from Tok, Alaska to Hamilton, Montana but I do know that, until I started bucking a twenty knot headwind south of Calgary, the truck had been cranking out its best gas mileage yet, over nineteen miles per gallon. A combination of sub-sixty mile per hour speeds and minimal acceleration had conspired to drop fuel consumption by 33 percent.

I took my own advice on this trip and topped off the fuel tank at almost every opportunity. The needle on the gas gauge never fell below the halfway mark. The most I paid for petrol in Canada was $1.59 a liter at Liard Hot Springs; the cheapest, 91 cents in Edmonton. Gas was $3.25 a gallon in Alaska and $2.65 in Polson, MT. Although I do enjoy simple math, I’m not sure what all those figures add up to, other than the fact that oil and dollars are the predominate factors in every equation calculated along the ALCAN.

Following our night at Wolf Creek, the dogs and I trekked out to the Yukon River once again, then made tracks for Watson Lake. I still hadn’t decided whether I should turn south onto the Cassiar or continue following the Alaska Highway to Dawson Creek. When Cousin Tyler and I drove north on our previous trek, we had taken the Cassiar. It was a shorter route, but more rugged, containing several unpaved, gravel surfaced sections. Mapquest recommended the Highway, and since I had never actually driven the length of it, I tended to agree. It would be nice to have that feather in my cap, just in case I didn’t happen this way again.

Two things were once symbolic of the Alaska Highway: roadhouses and rock chips. On the Highway of today, technological advancement in the form of fuel efficient vehicles and wide well-maintained blacktop has conspired to greatly reduce both. Derelict buildings dot the roadside, abandoned for less solitary environs; the whole point of their existence, to provide services in the middle of nowhere, lost. Chips in the windshield caused by errant rocks flung from spinning wheels are still a certainty, but their impact, in scope and number, has diminished as the old surface has been upgraded to modern standards. I took note of those I gathered, and added them to the running tally I kept of things encountered on the Highway.

Unable to pass up a sign boasting fresh baked cinnamon rolls, I paused at one establishment apparently still able to remain open for business. Diversification in the form of gas service, RV parking, and homemade food kept it viable. I gave the pups some water while I devoured one of their delicious, oven fresh rolls.

It was later than I hoped when I made Watson Lake. I passed on taking the Cassiar and continued into town, hoping for some cell service. Disappointingly, I found none, discovering the infamous Sign Post Forest instead. Not nearly as intrigued by the sight as I, the dogs were left panting in the truck while I wandered through the veritable jungle of scavenged welcome signs and license plates. I was impressed, but not surprised, by the number of Montana cities and counties represented. I spent a good while searching for a Richland, Washington sign to photograph for the McCoys, but, alas, it was to no avail.

After sending Brandi several messages via email and attempting to remedy the nonexistence of my cell phone coverage via a landline call to AT&T, I continued on towards Liard Hot Springs. A particularly “hot” spot to camp along the route, I was a bit concerned that I would find the campground filled to capacity. Fortunately, I was able to snag one of the last two sites and set up camp amidst an almost incomprehensible cloud of mosquitoes.

Stopping at Liard Hot Springs Provincial Park is a must. All the tour books rave about it, and they’re probably right in doing so. I did indeed camp there, but I would feel guilty if I didn't admit to not actually having soaked in the pools. For whatever reason, fatigue, fear, or something even more inexplicable, I simply didn’t feel like it. So I played guitar, fed the dogs, and built myself a hootch out of visqueen to keep the blood suckers at bay. Quite happy with its construction, I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next day was the most visually stunning part of the drive. Before leaving Liard River, I topped off the tank. The fine gentleman who sold me the petrol was particularly pleasant for such an early hour, and I soon understood why. “Great day, eh," he extolled. “Gonna have me a beer.”

I stopped at Northern Rockies Lodge and enjoyed an honest cup of coffee on the shores of Muncho Lake. The woman in the café had a German accent, and she gave me the coffee for free. I had packed away my insulated mug and was reusing a Styrofoam cup that had accompanied me the length of the journey from Tok. It had become ugly with coffee stains, and when I offered the woman good money to see it filled, she kindly refused my payment. I tipped her a loonie and continued on down the road.

A short distance later, I encountered a lovely little enclave situated between the Toad and Racing rivers. Several horse herds were pastured here in fields alongside the Highway. One thing that had annoyed me about Alaskans was their staunch dismissal of agriculture. Beyond their personal gardens and the government projects in Delta Junction and the Mat-Su Valley, it seemed they were adamantly opposed to even the notion of harvesting anything other than moose and oil. Given, conditions in Alaska are considerably more harsh than in northern BC, or even the Yukon, but it appeared to me that mindset was the limiting factor, not environmental factors or carrying capacity. Throughout Canada, one observed a certain Continental influence, and it was obvious that settlers, both early and late, found value in husbanding the land.

Stone Mountain Provincial Park is beautiful, filled with glacier carved geography. We took a break near Summit Lake and climbed a hiking trail to the ridgeline. The dogs were mad with animal scent, which was making me madder still. As I paused to photograph them, I noted a lone caribou walking along the roadside below. It appeared as if its arrival at the truck would coincide perfectly with ours. I stepped up the pace and forcefully called the dogs to heel as we made our approach, but all for naught. The caribou had grown wise to his situation, and thankfully fled.

Crossing the Continental Divide, I passed a sign that claimed the last rest stop in four hundred kilometers lie two klicks ahead, and though I remained somewhat dubious of its credibility, I halted nonetheless. A huge RV towing an SUV dominated the gravel parking lot. A man inside was occupied with talking on his cell phone. As I stepped out of the pickup, I was nearly run over by a semi-truck that ploughed into the rest area at a very rapid clip. I took a quick stroll to stretch my legs and got back on the road.

The Highway wound down from the mountains into the Muskwa River valley. I was closing in on Fort Nelson and would be leaving the spectacular part of the drive behind. After this farms and fields, boasting yields of both food and fuel, would rule the landscape. I scanned the radio and found several stations to choose from. Be it isolation or development, mountains or malls, blue sky or rain, no matter where you go, there is always plenty of something.

Crossing the Line

The border crossing was much less dramatic than I had imagined it to be. I still maintain that gaining entry from the lower 48 would have posed a greater challenge, but that is mere speculation. The customs agent was quintessentially Canadian, aloof and unconcerned. Her only display of emotion occurred while she was registering my hunting rifle, a simple process that amounted to little more than a very cursory inspection and a $25 fee. The rifle, a Ruger Model No. 1, is a rolling block single shot chambered in the ubiquitous .30-06. “Don’t see many like this,” she noted, twice.

My plan was to limit driving to six hours a day. In theory, that would keep me healthy, allow for lots of stops and side trips, and still get me back to Montana in less than a week. It seemed like a good plan. Of course, plans are always subject to change.

A funny quirk about traveling the Alaska Highway is that it seems like no matter whether you drive straight through at ninety miles an hour or lollygag along at a crawl, the trip takes five days. To be certain, that is a gross oversimplification. When Cousin Tyler and I drove the Highway in 2001, we crushed the route in a brutal 72 hour sprint. Some travelers spend a month on the road. Ideally, a trip along the ALCAN would be about the journey, not the destination. Unfortunately, that has yet to be the case for me.

Another interesting attribute of long drives is that the closer we get to our destinations, the stronger their pull. It’s a phenomenon similar to gravity. Obviously, it doesn’t make much sense to start a drive like the Alaska Highway thinking about its end, and for the most part I wasn’t. That first day I was just thankful to be in Canada and finally on my way home.

Canadian customs is actually situated twenty miles southeast of the international border, just outside the tiny community of Beaver Creek, Yukon Territory. It feels immediately different from Alaska. Sure, mileages are displayed in kilometers and gravy is offered with French fries, but it’s more than that. Although we “Americans” are quick to think of Canada as just an extension of the United States, a strange cousin we’re not willing to admit to as family, it is actually a foreign nation and fully a country unto itself.

It always seems odd to find sub-continental Asians living in the far north, but I wasn’t surprised that the man operating the motel slash café slash gas station where I filled up with my first tank of Canadian petrol was Indian. With that in mind, I misread a bumper sticker in the glass cabinet on which his cash register was placed. “There isn’t one single mosque on the Alaska Highway,” was how I read it. That’s odd, I thought. Upon further inspection, mosque was really mosquito.

My next stop was at a road side rest area overlooking a lake. After the other users left, I let the dogs run. There were quite certainly mosquitoes present, not one single one but swarms of them. When there was no more space to feed on my neck, they tried to fly up my nose, in my ears. I kept after the dogs, and not because they were looking to escape. I had to keep moving or be devoured.

The change from Alaska to Canada is abrupt. Immediately, the terrain was different and more to my liking, the valleys narrower and the mountains closer at hand. The sun was bright, the sky brilliant blue. CBC radio was talking about social concerns, rather than economic ones. I felt better than I had in weeks.

I was proud of Canada for having FM radio in the middle of nowhere, but it was a short lived satisfaction. The CD player in the pickup had died during Brandi's visit, and I was soon hurting for audio distraction. I played the few cassette tapes I had, and then occupied myself listening to looped weather reports on XM radio and scanning the broadcast bands every time I saw a microwave tower.

When I had driven the Highway with Cousin Tyler, I had been surprised by the amount of cell coverage along the route, and that in 2001. In Beaver Creek, I had witnessed a motorcyclist talking on his phone at the visitor center. My phone, on the other hand, hadn’t seen a scrap of signal since I left Tok. At the sight of each hulking red and white striped microwave repeater towering over the route, I powered up the device and checked for service. Each time I was greeted with the same result. Nothing.

I made numerous stops at various attractions: Pickhandle Lake, Kulane Lake, Rancheria Falls. I was shooting for a campground near Haines Junction, but when I couldn’t get a signal there even though I was staring at a young Canadian talking on his phone at the gas pump, I knew I was going to push on to Whitehorse. I topped off the pickup’s tank and bought some groceries at the local market before hitting the Highway once again.

Traveling the Alaska Highway is a journey one has to share. It overloads the senses. The more I drove, the more I longed to talk to Brandi. Huskies are great companions but they are poor conversationalists, other than Tensaw, who speaks a language all his own. Besides having become accustomed to speaking with her regularly, I needed Brandi just so I could decompress.

Whitehorse has a Starbucks. A city of twenty odd thousand, it is the territorial capital of the Yukon. Sixty-six percent of the territory’s population lives in Whitehorse, and I was certain AT&T would have coverage there. Even if they did, I didn’t.

I sent Brandi a text via email through a bootleg wifi connection scabbed off one of the local hotels. Ah, the glories of the modern age. She was emphatic that I call her, so I resorted to an ancient technology, the pay phone. It’s amazing how disconnected we have become from what used to be a fixture. I felt almost foolish standing in front of the convenience store chatting with her. Look at this bozo, I imagined the passersby saying. Backwards American doesn’t even own a cell phone.

We made camp at Wolf Creek campground just a few miles outside of town. It was a nice location, with a nature trail only steps from our site. The mosquitoes weren’t too fierce. After taking a lap out to the overlook and back, grabbing a quick bite, and strumming the pups a few tunes on the guitar, I settled into my bivy and enjoyed the fact that it was actually getting dark.

Searching for Montana in the heart of Alaska

Nothing in life is the way you think it will be. No matter how diligently you strive to draft a perfect blueprint in your mind, the truth of the matter is rarely an exact replica of what you had envisioned. Seldom do even our best estimations ever amount to anything more than a close approximation.

Sometimes our imaginations lead us to be disappointed by reality, sometimes it comes as a pleasant surprise. Though it can often be frustrating, that is actually one of the beauties in life. Mystery is inherent to the human experience. How much fun would life really be if we already knew what was waiting for us around every corner, or could see what our gift was without first having to unwrap it?

I had always held a romantic view of Alaska. Like many, I was of the opinion that if things ever became exceedingly hectic in the Lower 48, there was always Alaska to run to. I imagined this incredible wilderness where a person could go and still find room to carve out an existence with little more than two hands. I maintained a belief that Alaska was the last bastion of pioneer spirit, the culmination of America's great trail of westward expansion, and in many ways it is.

All idealistic illusions aside, one thing is certain: Alaska is the end of the road, and that road is the Alaska Highway. Commissioned by the United States Army during the early part of World War Two, it continues to be the most amazing feat of highway construction ever accomplished. Its tales could fill volumes, and already have.

Officially, the ALCAN spans one thousand three hundred ninety miles from Dawson Creek, British Columbia, to Delta Junction, Alaska. In reality, it extends the length of Interstate 15 clear on to Fairbanks, passing through the Canadian provinces of Alberta, British Columbia, and the Yukon Territory along the way. It is one of the world’s most magnificent drives, and the road trip of a lifetime for many an intrepid adventurer.

Tok is the first American town on the Alaska Highway, and the road is the community's lifeline. A desolate ghost town when I arrived in February, Tok was a bustle of activity by mid-May. Fast Eddy’s was swamped. A literal army of tourists swarmed the cluster of gas pumps, RV parks, and motels that comprise the city center. They streamed along the Alaska Highway like a string of marching ants.

My original itinerary for the trip south called for another sailing on the Alaska Marine Highway ferry system, from the port of Whittier on the Kenai Peninsula near Anchorage back to Bellingham, WA. The “trifecta”, as Brandi calls it, of minor offenses I have acquired over the years effectively makes me criminally inadmissible to Canada, if you read the literature, which is in part why I chose to ride the ferry north in the first place. Still, passage during the peak of summer tourist season is expensive, and the sailing was scheduled to last ten long days. With that in mind, the ribbon of pavement extending southeast from Tok towards Montana had begun to appear terribly inviting, even after having factored in the poor exchange rate and the high cost of Canadian petrol. The border crossing was only ninety miles away. The worst that could happen was that I would get turned around and be forced to drive back to Tok. If that indeed was the case, I could still catch the ferry as planned, so there was no way I could lose, really. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I woke up early on Father’s Day. After a final sweep of the cabin to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, I loaded up the huskies and said my goodbyes. Leaving any place always contains its share of sorrow, especially if the experience was meaningful. Never would I forget this place or the things that I went through here. In my heart, I wanted to be back in Montana more than anything and I knew there was no way I was going to stay. Still, I couldn’t help but notice the subtle sense of mourning that settled over me as I closed the cabin door and drove down the drive.

Alaska was everything I thought it could be, and a million other things besides. Turns out, however, that I am not who I thought I was. Places, experiences, relationships; they all reveal things about ourselves we never would have realized otherwise. I didn’t go to Alaska to learn anything about Alaska. Seems I went to Alaska to find out that what I came looking for was back home in Montana.

Circle around a Midnight Sun

The bugs are out in Alaska. Along its circuitous route the sun dips only ever so slightly below the northern horizon, and it never truly gets dark. Salmon are running in the Copper River. Tour buses and RVs have inundated Tok, and motel rates in Anchorage have doubled.

There is a cycle to life. It is undeniable. It ebbs and flows, its flux as constant as the tide, and fighting it is futile.

A member of my dispatch staff, a native emergency hire named Sherlene, asked for a couple days off to put up the sixty salmon she had gotten from a friend’s fish wheel. Although there are a stack of fire records yet to clean up, I couldn’t help but acquiesce. The sustenance the fish will provide through the long cold winter is more valuable to her family than the money I am paying her. The paperwork could wait; the salmon would not. Spreadsheets don’t rot. Everything in its own time.

Like a spawning king salmon, my Alaska run is nearing its end. Monetarily, the experience has cost me more than I have earned, but I don’t believe that was ever really the point in coming. What I have gained is easily more valuable than what I have lost. My immersion in Alaska has been more akin to catharsis; shedding old skin for new. For the kings, the journey upriver contains a much greater sacrifice. Compared to the salmon, I’m getting off easy.

State of Things

Fire season has finally arrived in Alaska. Broken Snowshoe is burning outside of McGrath, and Tok Area’s very own Old Man Fire has grabbed the number two slot on the National Situation Report. Both burns are near human populations, the only real reason to fight fire in Alaska. Old Man is burning in thick black spruce forest, north of the town of Chicken. A classic example of stand replacement ecology, nothing is going to stop the fire until a heavy rain falls or it exhausts its supply of fuel.

It was only a matter of time. Weather has been warm in Alaska since the beginning of May, and during one particular heat wave early in the month, temps reached record levels. A few systems have moved through, cloudy and cooler but without any measureable precipitation. All that was lacking was an ignition source, summarily supplied by some afternoon thunderstorms over Memorial Day weekend.

Brandi was here for better than a week. It was great having her visit, even though watching her walk off into Fairbanks International Airport was absolutely heart wrenching. We went on several grand adventures, and learned quite a lot about Alaska, ourselves, and one another. Brandi wrote an excellent essay summarizing our exploits, so I won’t share them here, other than these two valuable lessons. There aren’t as many campgrounds along the Parks Highway as one might suspect and always top off your gas tank at every available opportunity when driving across Alaska.

To be frank, Alaska has been kicking my ass. Unless you are in Anchorage, where life is downright cosmopolitan, living here is pretty much an expedition into the wilderness dotted with sporadic internet access and occasional cell coverage. I have run myself almost completely out of gas and fought dark clouds of depression. The dogs have gone native, regressing back to their predatory roots. Tensaw is as fixated as a junkie, constantly sniffing the air and regularly leading the charge in search of rabbit scent and caribou herd. Alaska is an incredible place, but there’s a constant sense of the struggle for survival. Livin' never comes easy here. It’s a battle I feel I wouldn’t win, even if I had a mind to fight it.

Montana is the greatest state in the Union. It boasts every resource imaginable, its wealth of raw materials second only to California in scope and magnitude. If each of the United States was its own country, I believe Montana would boast the wealthiest citizens. Its freshwater reserves alone would seem to dictate as much.

If Montana looked to fulfill all of its own needs from within its own borders, there would be little to want for, and much with which to parley. A fraction of Montana’s current hydroelectric capacity is enough to power the entire state. There is wheat and beef aplenty. Freshwater abounds, including the headwaters of America’s greatest river, the Missouri. The only staples lacking are cotton and corn, with oil, coal, gold, silver, timber and wool as trading stock.

This, however, is not the state of things in Montana. Rather than benefiting Montanans, this abundance of resources is controlled by outside interests, and residents receive little capital gain from them. Land value is exaggerated in Montana, and the cost of living is high compared with the prevailing wage. Little headway can be made by the average worker in the face of foreign capital. Most Montanans scrape by as servants and laborers. They toil to export their valuable commodities for pennies on the dollar, all the while paying market rates for items from their own backyard.

I wouldn't be suprised if one day Montanans take arms against this sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them. Most of us are much too content to rock the boat, and should it be overturned by a violent sea, we would rather tread water somewhere recognizable than paddle into the unknown, so I'm guessing secession is a long way off. Until then, Montana's still the last best place to live, poor in cash yet rich in wide open spaces, and I for one can’t wait to get back there to her loving arms.

Beauty Is Skin Deep

Alaska is beautiful, containing millions of acres of absolute wilderness. Disparages cast by Into the Wild be damned; should one have the sense and the skillset, it is certainly possible to wander into the boreal forest, erect a cabin, and enjoy contended isolation eating moose until the end of your days. Squatter cabins scattered throughout the Tanana stand as testimony to this reality. Even in a civilized metropolis such as Tok, residents live almost completely free of rules and regulation. In fact, working hard not to freeze is really about the only thing required of citizens in Alaska.

Bluebird skies have reigned over Tok these past weeks, and days are quickly growing long. Temps have soared into the high 30s, and the cabin’s roof has sloughed its shroud of snow. One thing I’ve noted here is that temperature truly is relative. Standing outside on a sundrenched 25 degree day is downright pleasant. It doesn’t even require a coat, as long as one has become accustomed to habitually donning the Alaska state uniform of long underwear.

Officially its fire season, but that is a hard concept to take seriously when two feet of snow still covers the ground. Even so, it appears that spring arrives like a freight train around here. I am guessing that I will step out of the office at quitting time one day to find the aspens have put on their leaves since morning.

In an effort to simplify, I’ve taken to spending Sunday afternoon baking my own bread. The first attempt was disastrous; what I created was more akin to a brick than a loaf. This last attempt met with greater success; the dough actually rose, though not much. Next time we’ll try going with less flour and more kneading.

So far my greatest joy in Alaska has been the abundance of dog mushing. I have been to several races and had opportunity to act as handler for several dog teams. At the Tok Race of Champions, I deserted my newly acquired mentor, a local native named Tom Denny, to assist a team of Siberians from Anadyr Kennels. Once the premier sled dog, Siberian Huskies have become the bastard children of competitive dog sledding, dethroned by the faster hound crosses. Anadyr runs Siberians exclusively, and even though their team finished last at the Race of Champions they were the apple of this Siberian lover’s eye. I can foresee an Anadyr dog running with the By Dog team in the future.

The most wonderful thing about dog mushing in Alaska, beyond the sheer abundance of it, is the incredible support. The native village of Tanacross is little more than a handful of homes surrounding a community hall, but they laid out a spread at Friday’s musher dinner that put to shame every potluck I’ve attended in the Lower 48. Nearly the entire village population was on hand to give the collection of local and professional mushers, many of whom enjoy world class status, the warmest welcome possible, though I harbor a suspicion that most of them were only there for the after dinner bingo session.

Yes, it is beautiful in Alaska, but there is a lot more to the place lurking beneath it's grand façade. Nonetheless, it’s gorgeous outside at the moment and the dogs want to run, so let’s leave that part of the Great Land buried beneath winter's melting snow for now.

Fire, Oil, or Ice

Tok is cold, and there is no reason it should be inhabited. Surrounding lands don’t contain any economically extractable resources. The Coast Guard maintains a soaring antenna array here, but otherwise Tok exists as a junction of Alaska’s two most notable highways. Coming from Canada on the Alaska Highway, Tok is the place where you can either turn left and go to Anchorage or continue on to Fairbanks. Subsistence living and road kill keeps its thousand odd residents alive. Several nearby native communities contribute a few more souls to the census. Moose is common on menus, as is minus seventy on thermometers. Cut wood all winter through, and your house will still be cold in Tok.

Oil flows through Tok’s heart. Town smells of it. The oil burning furnace that heats my cabin spews exhaust fumes. All my clothes reek of burnt fuel. A carbon monoxide detector is requisite. I haven’t felt good since I got here, and I fear a minor case of monoxide poisoning. Not acute; just enough to give me symptoms enjoyably akin to dysentery. Still, it’s been negative twenty five most mornings when I drive to work. Poisoned has to be better than frozen solid.

Steamy exhaust pours from everything. A dirty pall drifts overhead. It isn’t as bitter cold as minus twenty five could feel, but standing around for long simply begins to freeze you. Burning oil holds the chill at bay. A scent of petroleum surrounds everything human. The electricity plant runs on it. Without it, little of Tok would remain.

Jeff Hermanns at Tok Forestry looks at countless acres of burnt spruce forest north of the Tanana River and sees another fuel source with which to satiate Tok’s appetite for combustibles. A massive fire scar, what remains of 2004’s Taylor Complex blaze, spans vast lands across the Tanana Valley State Forest. It is filled with standing dead wood, kiln dried by the fire’s intense heat. Jeff’s aim is to get Tok off North Slope oil and onto Tanana Valley biomass.

Biomass is not going to save western civilization. It would take many times the amount of arable land available in America to grow enough soybeans to fully replace diesel in the United States. All current biowaste production can account for only a fraction of what is necessary to keep us operating at existing capacities. Even if every possible acre of productive land in the world grew crops for energy, it wouldn’t be enough to power the grid.

Not so in Tok.

Tok, Alaska, is off the grid; its electricity comes from a diesel fueled generator at the AP&T power station downtown. Alaska Power and Telephone, who is significantly vested in oil futures I must assume, provides electricity to town and several native villages by burning petroleum. Jeff looks at the millions of board feet around him, considers the amount of electricity used by the local community currently, factors in the generation capacity of modern technologies and the cost of infrastructure, and still believes he can cut the price of electricity in half by fueling Tok’s power plant with biomass.

Because population is low in Tok, Hermanns believes Alaska’s state forest can sustain the local community’s fuel needs using just the timber harvest currently allowed. In theory, the allowable cut should leave forest reserves in quantities ample enough that at no time will another cut be precluded. A biomass fueled power plant in Tok would be capable of providing for all of town’s electrical needs while providing cheap district heat to entities such as the library, university extension, and emergency services.

Forest literally carpets Tok. It continues unbroken in all directions like a blanket. Spruce as thick as dog hair comes up nearly to my doorstep. Fire has threatened to raze town on several occasions, and potential exists for exactly such an event at any time. In defense, Jeff’s fire crew at Tok Area Office, funded by National Fire Plan money, treats hundreds of acres of urban forest, reducing fuels and creating fuel breaks along roads. Around Tok School, biomass from treated acreage is piled and left to dry. It awaits the chipper and biomass boiler Hermanns and Tok School’s grant writer, Scott McManus, intend to purchase with funds they have been granted.

It all makes great sense. Oil delivers more bang for the buck than biomass and is more easily transported. Despite AP&T’s resultant loss of revenue within the local market, biomass power in Tok frees up oil that could be sold elsewhere or, better yet, saved for future generations. An added benefit is timber industry in Tok, employing local workers to provide for local needs.

Tok School biomass project is smart and progressive. It lowers the threat that Tok School will be destroyed by wildfire and essentially guarantees the facility will be heated for the foreseeable future, oil or no. After the fuel reduction wood is consumed, chip wood will be purchased from local vendors.

The problem with Jeff Hermanns’ vision is that this is America. We’re not socialists. Education is about the only thing we are guaranteed, other than death and taxes. In theory, State of Alaska can’t develop infrastructure. That’s a service provided by private sector, for profit.

One might hope that native corporations in Tanana Valley would see the opportunity to invest in themselves by both funding and constructing infrastructure that benefits their own communities, but so far that appears unlikely. Subsidies foot much of residents’ heating and power bills, so most Alaskans simply continue status quo. Every tax dollar Alaskans give Washington is returned to the state twice fold in the form of federal funding, which minimizes the impetus to change. The constant flow of North Slope oil south is worth that much.

What Jeff in his role as Area Forester and the State of Alaska can do is continue to develop the potential for sustainable biomass harvest and extraction from the Tanana Valley State Forest and promote biomass industry within the local community. Someday rising oil prices will force Alaska to look to its forest resources for light and heat. For now, Jeff is running ahead of the curve, which is the definition of progressive.

The handyman called today to report what he found wrong at the cabin. I have no experience with oil furnaces, but my gut feeling that it was pumping exhaust gases into my living space was confirmed. Bad layout had caused the outlet pipe to collapse where it made a right angle. Fumes were backing up into the house, a potentially fatal situation. Pretty bad air, was how he described it.

Lost Bearings

In Yakutat, a native man stopped his truck to tell me that, for huskies, the dogs were very well trained. It was a nice thing to hear. Sometimes because they’re not perfect I get fixated on their flaws and forget how wonderful they truly are. When you’re in heaven, I imagine it doesn’t take long before you forget you are there.

Other than that compliment, port call in Yakutat was disappointing; brutally so. As we were entering the bay, I kept checking my cell phone, hoping to see bars. No such luck. I hadn’t spoken to Brandi since Wrangell the night before, and I was feeling low. After Yakutat, we were heading out to sea, across the Gulf of Alaska, and there would be no talking with her until Whittier. I let the dogs off leash and watched them dive head first into snow banks along a lonely road leading God knows where.

When you are busy shaking a selfish fist at the world, it isn’t always easy to keep in mind that you were the one who put yourself in this predicament. There being no cell service in Yakutat is to blame for keeping me from a conversation with Brandi; never mind the twenty five hundred miles I put between us by taking a job in Alaska. Wireless transmission makes much more sense than buried or overhead cable in a tiny isolated outpost like Yakutat. A wireless infrastructure would be cheaper to install and easier to maintain than a traditional wired one. There is no reason why there shouldn’t be cell coverage here.

Necessity is the mother of invention they say. Later, while I sat on the ferry struggling with the mounting sense of estrangement I felt as we sailed away from just about everything I hold dear, I came up with at least half a dozen technological advances that would have allowed me to connect with the world outside. None of them were going to close the distance, but several had the potential to bridge the gap.

A cell phone is simply a low power radio which transmits its signal to tower antennae connected through computerized exchange switchboards to the cabled phone system. Each cell phone has two channels, one that transmits the conversation and a second that communicates with the cellular system. As the cell phone moves away from one tower and closer to another, this second channel informs the cell phone of signal strength and directs it to switch its transmit frequency from the far tower’s weakening signal to that of the closer, stronger tower.

Since the dawn of communications, repeaters have been used to carry messages over long distances. The Great Wall of China was designed so that each guard house would be within sight of another, so that signals could quickly be sent back and forth along the wall. In fire communications, radio repeaters bounce signals from mountaintop to mountaintop, providing contiguous coverage over vast and isolated ranges. Why not apply this concept to phone networks? Cell phone users in the United States number approximately 200 million. Add another channel to those handsets, and that’s a whole lot of repeaters.

If every mobile telephone handset was enabled to repeat signals, transmissions could be piggybacked through multiple handsets over distances much greater than a low power cell phone could ever hope to reach on its own. Cell phones are idle most of the time; software could be developed that detected nearby mobile radios and essentially turned each individual handset into a separate cell. In all but the most unusual circumstances, there would always be a chain of handsets linking an end user to an exchange.

In theory, that basic restructuring could also help me as I bobbed across the Gulf of Alaska aboard M/V Kennicott. Certainly technology exists that would allow the ferry to offer cell phone and wifi connectivity with the mainland via satellite, but a repeater concept could be utilized to turn each marine vessel into its own floating cell. A message could be bounced from craft to craft down a shipping lane rather than being beamed to a satellite or carried on a transoceanic cable. Would the investment in technology and infrastructure be worth it just to allow me to talk to Brandi? If you asked me that day, when I was cut off from my world by endless ocean waves, I definitely would have contributed my share to make it an option.

Personal concerns aside, it simply makes sense. Our entire understanding of economics requires revision if we expect all to enjoy a comparable standard of living. Traditional models for determining the economic viability of infrastructure development simply don’t account for the duality that arises between the local and global marketplace, between short term feasibility and long term practicability. Calculated vision must drive capital investment, not the whims of consumer demand and commodity pricing. A goal must be set; plans lain; and deliberate steps taken. What it is we are attempting to accomplish should be the compass needle guiding development; not whether an endeavor creates a financial profit over a finite time period.

As we approach Whittier, messages from Brandi stack up thankfully on my cell phone. Sharp biting wind roars down off surrounding mountains and drifts snow against a massive structure on the hillside overlooking the port. Institutional in appearance, the concrete and glass construction is acutely reminiscent of Cold War era Soviet architecture.

That was once the biggest building in Alaska, a fellow passenger tells me. Vacant and deserted, it now more closely resembles the Bates Motel. Ghosts of bygone values peer from behind its empty windows. Previously deemed essential, it is now dispensable; a monolith to the fallacy of economics. Indifferent and unfeeling as dinosaur bones, its fossilized remains pay tribute to the high cost of false vision.

Between Two Worlds

We are closing in on Juneau. It’s colder here. The mountains are taller, climbing right out of the water’s edge. Before, the sea was black. Now it is clearer; a frigid blue green. A strong crosswind has turned the water’s surface to chop. White caps throw their cold mist into the air.

I miss Brandi. She has been my boon companion for the past six months, and this trip seems almost unreal without her. Practically, handling the dogs without a second set of hands is a chore, but that’s the least of it really. What I truly miss is her company; that bond of shared experience one develops with a genuine partner. It’s nice, the way we complement one another. We make a good team.

Yesterday, we made port in Ketchikan. Heart of Alaska’s great salmon fishery, the town occupies a vertical plane between mountain and sea. Most of the city is waterfront. There are no roads connecting Ketchikan to the rest of the world, still everyone seems to feel the need to drive their car.

Port call was over three hours long. The dogs and I walked the entire length of town in that time, from the ferry dock to the cruise ship berths and back. A constant flow of traffic traveled the single street. Vehicles congregated at the Lutheran church, but the Safeway parking lot was nearly empty.

Ketchikan has two faces; tourist and Alaskan. Eerily, the ordered facades of the curio shops in the tourist quarter stand over silent streets of a ghost town. From the sheer number of stores selling salmon, one can only assume that the district is thronged with people during the summer season. A Sunday in February finds it as quiet as Tombstone.

Downtown Ketchikan sports a clean appearance and a fresh coat of paint. The rest of the city is weathered and worn. Advertisements scattered among shuttered windows downtown speak of another world where real Alaskans seldom venture. I feel like a shade caught in limbo between two realms; not really a part of either. A raven that seems to believe dogs need not be feared taunts Tensaw from a distance less than four feet. It leaps into the air with an odd caw whenever he moves closer, but mostly it appraises me with a single judicious eye. This gaze gives me that same feeling one gets when a word is stuck on the tip of the tongue. Am I’m missing something here, I ask the black bird. Aren’t you, he replies.

Back on the boat, next stop Wrangell. It is dark when we arrive. We go ashore where I am confounded by the dogs. Normally, they do reasonably well on their leashes, but this evening is a jumble of tangled lines and unheeded commands. I want to call Brandi, and they seem to want to tie me up in leaders and leave me stranded. I know they need to run, but I’m afraid to let them free in a dark, unknown location with only thirty minutes. I let Kona off leash while Blue and Tensaw circle me endlessly until the ferry horn calls us back aboard for the push past Petersburg on to Juneau.

Inside the Passage

So far the most amazing thing about the ferry to Alaska has been the fact that I have had cell coverage almost the entire way. Of course we have been skirting alongside Vancouver Island, BC. We’ll see how things change once we get a bit further north.

The boat is pitching hard to the right as we turn portside. I am sitting in the cafeteria, eating a banana while I wait for morning deck call. There is land close on either side of us, comfortably within swimming distance. Could probably make it if the water wasn’t so cold. Later today we will cross a couple sections of open sea, but to this point we have been weaving thru narrows created by the archipelago lying along the northwest Pacific coast. Even without land in sight, the throbbing diesels seem reassurance enough that we will make our destination.

Constantly the entire ship pulses as her power plants push the screw through the water. It is a world continuously in motion; the boat vibrates, wind whistles, waves splash against the hull. Water, sky, and shoreline slip past at a sure steady pace. A white capped arrowhead spreads from the prow, pointing out our course. A foaming footprint follows behind.

Car deck call is coming soon. We’ll see how the puppas are fairing. Wait … they are fine. The girls refuse to do business on the deck yet, but Tensaw voided a very full bladder on a truck’s tire without much provocation. They seem to be doing perfectly well. Owing to the number of dogs on board and tight quarters, they were very excited; otherwise they were in good spirits. One of them used the newspaper inside the truck. Another 24 hrs in there may improve their opinion of deck call.

I am on the SS Malaspina, making way north along the Alaska Marine Highway. We left Bellingham, Washington, at sunset last night; Ketchikan our next port of call. Weather has been superb; clear, calm, and moderate when we cast off lines and got underway beneath red skies. Now a blanket of high clouds covers the entire expanse overhead. Water, trees, and rocky shorelines surround us. In the distance, jagged mountaintops climb, breaking up the horizon. To be perfectly honest, it is the most alluring landscape I have ever seen.

We have sailed past several solitary cabins standing silently on steep slopes overlooking the water. Several smaller craft have drifted by; large container barges being led south by tugs, a few fishing boats. I sighted a couple of remote human outposts on the horizon this morning, but now seawater has us almost completely surrounded. Seemingly infinite ripples cover the ceiling of the world’s greatest wilderness.

No cell tower in sight, still several bars of reception show on the cell phone display. Perhaps the ship is its own cell. Maybe the stretch of open water it appears we are about to cross will reveal the answer.

Cell phone coverage aside, sailing is certainly the most amazing part of ferry passage. In deeper water the ship pitches and yaws even more than when she does inside the narrows. A seat in the forward observation lounge rises and falls in constantly changing rhythm as the prow cuts the sea. In rough water it is nearly impossible to stand when we cross here, a steward tells a nearby passenger. Today we sail under fair skies, and the seas are calm.

I am going north for work. Although I often refer to it as an unnecessary endeavor, I actually like what it is I do to earn money for dog food and truck payments. Wildland fire management sometimes seems extraneous, but it’s extremely addictive. It combines just the right amount of physical and mental challenge to satisfy both. We don’t really do anything, but we don’t really hurt anything either. The money’s not bad. It’s a career that nicely mimics the criteria laid out in Lloyd Dobler’s answer to Diane Court’s father in the film Say Anything. I don’t want to make anything bought or sold, sell anything bought or made, or buy anything made or sold; and in fire, that statement pretty much holds true.

One perk about the dispatch position with the Alaska Division of Forestry at Tok Area Office is the opportunity to do resource work in addition to fire. Jeff Hermanns, area forester for Tok Area, is an ambitious, progressive resource manager, and he has more projects than people. To manage an area larger than Massachusetts, Jeff’s staff at Tok Forestry numbers less than a dozen. I’m guessing there will be plenty to do.

The ship continues to rock its way through Queen Charlotte Strait. Three more hours until next car deck call. Land is back alongside. High hills once again shelter the passage. My cell phone battery is nearly dead; its reserve exhausted from listening to music. It hasn’t seen coverage for awhile.

A Film Worth Its Cost

It’s always hard to completely resolve the conflict that arises from using technology as a platform for discussing environmental concerns. The simple fact that one has the technology available to use implies that it was manufactured somewhere out of something. Where did the gold contained within the computer I am using to post this come from? If you don’t know, then I’ll tell you; from a mine. And along with it came all the associated environmental implications that accompany mining operations.

As it was me who created a demand for its product, I am responsible for that mine’s existence. Yes, I would like to tell you that mining has a significant impact on the environment and that I am against the proposed mining operation looking to tunnel under my local wilderness area, the Cabinet Mountains, but that would only serve to further reveal my hypocrisy. “So you’re telling me that you don’t like mines via a network of copper wire.” Yeah, no one is buying that.

Still, here and there, gems come shining through that, despite the impact of their manufacture, speak loudly enough to our sensibilities that they drown out the hypocrisy ensured by their existence. One such example is a recent documentary film about the proposed Pebble Mine near Alaska’s Bristol Bay entitled Red Gold.

If you dig deep enough into Red Gold you will find it is filled with just the stuff I am referring to; it took a helicopter to get that shot of the Bingham Canyon mine. But the power of the film is undeniable. Yes, we need gold mines, it says; but maybe we don’t need one right here. Perhaps fish and fishermen have a rightful place beside video cameras and computers. If it takes a film to get us to ask ourselves this question, maybe it’s worth leveling another hilltop to make it.

Someday, we are going to be forced to make some really hard decisions about what it is we truly must safeguard. It isn’t today, but it is definitely coming. At some point, a choice will have to be made between things that sustain us and things that merely convenient. Its inherent hypocrisies (you can’t run a fishing boat or float plane on salmon guts) notwithstanding, Red Gold is just the type of dialogue that needs to take place on the subject. If you get the chance, I highly recommend it. And if at all possible, walk to the theater.

Good Luck With That

We don’t have cable or satellite, but in between episodes of The Colbert Report and The Daily Show streamed from ComedyCentral.com on Brandi’s laptop, we have been known to watch the occasional 80s flick from my collection of bargain DVDs. Brandi has a second hand TV she got from a friend, an old tube behemoth that weighs a ton, which has been sitting on the floor in a corner of the living room. We have talked about getting some sort of stand to put it on ever since she moved into the place, but the floor was working out well enough. That is until we got dissed by a six year old.

Our friends Jake & Lisa Pintok were over the other night for pizza and a game of Balderdash. Their young boys Ashton, Zachary, and Andrew came along as well. After a couple rounds of rather imaginative Balderdash answers, Lisa put a video on the television. This was an attempt to distract either the boys or Brandi & I; we’re still not sure which, as it was equally successful with both groups.

Before the video began, Zachary gave us all a concerned look. Since he had eaten most of his pizza and hadn’t injured one of his brothers in a while, everyone was curious as to what might be the problem. When Lisa asked him what was wrong, Zach’s answer was, “Their TV is on the ground.”

Fact was we had wanted to get a stand for the TV from the beginning, but we were trying to be responsible about it. Did we need a stand? Obviously, from Zach’s comment, yes we did. So much for reduce. We looked at all the second hand stores in town and watched craigslist; no luck. Okay, no love for reuse or recycle either. Wal-Mart was looming, but I wasn’t ready to give up yet, even if it meant suffering kinks in our necks from watching our ground bound television all winter.

Myself, I believe one of the central tenets of responsible consumerism and conservation is to obtain as much as possible from local sources. We live in Western Montana and there are trees everywhere. Let’s build a TV stand ourselves, I told Brandi. We spent her lunch hour drafting up some plans and took a Saturday trip to the lumber yard. Sure we could build it, we discovered, but not only did I not have the tools for the job, wood alone would cost us twice what we would pay for a pre-fab TV stand at Wal-Mart.

Now, I’m sorry, but this is too much to bear. I don’t care how you measure it; if you think this is the most economical way of doing business, your math is flawed. There is simply no chance that cutting trees in Canada, making particle board from them, shipping this wood to China, manufacturing a TV stand out of it, and then shipping the TV stand back to Montana is less expensive than it would be to cut trees in the Bitterroot, mill lumber in Darby, truck it to Hamilton, and have me bang together a funky TV stand on my own. Even if the math supported it, which I’m sure it doesn’t, it makes absolutely no sense to do things this way.

We need to change our business model if we are ever going to overcome the hurdles facing this nation and this world, this generation and those to come. The product path I describe above sounds ridiculous, but it is the reality more often than not. Given tax laws, wage disparities, and cheap fuel costs, I’m sure it appears profitable in the short run, but it is not viable over the long term. Not only that, it is irresponsible; economically, environmentally, and socially. It takes advantage of foreign workers, it wastes resources, and it robs from the local community. It may have worked for a time, but that time has passed.

Certainly, we could have lived without the TV stand. I’m not going to argue that point. The best thing we could have done is just ditch the TV altogether, but sometimes it’s good to temper the ideal with reality. Given the TV stand, the point I want to make is that I live in the woods alongside a bunch of loggers and carpenters who are unemployed due to a failing economy, and I can’t even find a TV stand made from local hands out of local lumber. Instead, thanks to poor mathematics and smoke & mirror financial deceptions, it makes more sense that I buy one made in China from Canadian pulp wood.

All I can say is: good luck with that. If you need me, I’ll be watching Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

Don't Be Scared, Cobe

I’ve been hanging out in Hamilton with Brandi. We met this past summer while we were both working wildland fire in Kootenai Country. She is pretty amazing. When I first met her, she was quite the conservationist, but I’ve been doing a real good job breaking her of such sensible habits as only driving when she has to, walking to the store, not buying things she doesn’t need, and turning off lights when she leaves a room. We have been getting along very well, and I have high hopes for us, if we can only get past Alaska.

As I mentioned, I was working on the Kootenai when I met Brandi. I’ve been working in fire management since 2000, and one day I had an opportunity to take a new position within the Montana Department of Natural Resources and Conservation, working dispatch in Lincoln County where I grew up. At the time I took the job, I was working in Missoula and getting awful tired of that town. The job on the Koot seemed like just the ticket; I could stay at my pop’s cabin for minimal rent and get the dogs out of the city. Besides all that, I had planned on moving back to Troy anyway, to research and write a novel. This was perfect.

That attitude didn’t last too long. A funny thing about hometowns; no matter how much you change while you’re away, or think you do, they always seem to bring you back around to who you were. By the time fire season 2008 was getting started on the Kootenai, I was looking for a way out. One day at the office, my buddy Slick Rick and I got talking about Alaska. Working in a dispatch office, you’re always trying to find something new to Google. That’s what I should do, I said. I’m gonna Google jobs in Alaska.

One Google search and two emails later, I was filling out an application for a new dispatch job with the State of AK Division of Forestry in Tok, Alaska. If I thought the job on the Kootenai was good, this was great. The job announcement was for the position of lead dispatcher, which meant I would get the supervisory experience I hadn’t been getting a chance at here in the Northern Rockies region. And talk about peace and quiet to write; Tok was literally in the middle of f’n nowhere, despite its dubious distinction of being the first Alaskan town after Canada along the Alcan. I’d already gotten all I needed out of Troy as far as research for the novel. When they offered me the job, I was on top of the world.

Not because of the job, however. The job offer had taken on a rather bittersweet flavor, actually. No, the reason I was on top of the world, as I told my pops the afternoon it happened, was because Brandi McCoy called me. Sure, I’d been subtly pursuing her, but it was more due to the fact that I couldn’t NOT pursue her than through any belief that it would truly amount to anything. Still, it had amounted to something, and that something has turned out to be much more worthwhile than I could ever have imagined.

So now we’re preparing to say our goodbyes. The ferry to Alaska pulls out of Bellingham, Washington, on February 20th, and the dogs and I will be on it. How’s that going to work out, you ask. I don’t know. Brandi is an absolute beauty, in every sense of the word, so I’m feeling a bit insecure about the situation, as you might imagine. We have been at each other’s throats lately, to be perfectly honest. We’re both just scared, I guess. It’s been pretty good, this thing we’ve found, and we’re worried we might lose it. And we might.

Brandi is going to get her own dog. I’ve been fighting it tooth and nail, but I couldn’t tell you why if you asked. I would give you a lot of reasons, but I couldn’t really tell you why. My best guess goes something like this: Siberian huskies were what I brought to the table; if she has one of her own, where does that leave me?

In Alaska, I guess, but there will be plenty more on that later. Check back.